Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Doesn't Going To The Bathroom Feel Good Sometimes?

I was introduced to another crazy session in the bathroom last night. I am a country boy. I eat more than most fifty year old men do. So when I have to go to the bathroom there are certain days where I feel like my butt is getting ready to explode. It's a good thing this happens only once a month. If it was a daily situation I might as well be spending more money on bathroom products than reservations at The Cheesecake Bistro.

Months ago, I put myself through another embarrassing situation in the bathroom. I rose out of bed feeling this extremely bad rumble in my stomach. Seconds later, my butt started piling up in the inside. I knew instantly that I needed to go. I ran into the bathroom and locked the door behind. I laid my butt on the toilet and the misery began.

If you're already feeling uncomfortable about this I recommend you stop, pull yourself together, and resume reading.

It started coming out one by one. Each one felt larger than the other. I tried not to yell or anything, but it so hard not to. I grabbed my dry towel and used it to cover my yelling. Based on what I was feeling at that moment I began to realize what women feel when they are pregnant. My body had short cramps because I was pushing it too hard. My butt was opening up to the point where it was getting ready to do a split. There were things inside of my butt that I didn't know existed until I saw it physically using the mirror. It was one of the most uncomfortable situations I have ever been in.

Then strangely, I began to think while I was still doing my business. Sometimes it actually feels good doing it. I maybe insane or some people might agree with me. There are times when it feels good doing your business in the bathroom during the session. It started st 2:00AM and ended at 2:30 AM.

Ain't that a record?

Sadly, it wasn't done with me yet. At 5:00 AM, the feeling in my stomach returned and the whole painfully, yet comfortably, bathroom session began. This time it only lasted for ten minutes. I went to sleep with this question in my head.

Doesn't Going To The Bathroom Feel Good Sometimes?

1 comment:

Rodrigo Zambia Cruz said...

Roque! When I was reading this I had one of those akward blushes, where one does not want to admit that something might be true. Your metabaloism must be very high, lucky you! You have a good point though. I don't know what you ate,but you might want to take a vacation from that soon! :)