Tuesday, March 1, 2011

The Bathroom Wasn't Finished With Me Yet



Right now, I am still recovering from my bathroom episode yesterday. I am trying not to eat a large amount of food for the next couple of days. It is harder than you think to cut down on your food after you've been eating a large amount of food for quite a while. I am a naturally thin person. So when I eat I never grow a gut or see a large amount of fat on my sides after consuming two large lemon cakes. I'm doing my best to cut down on food, but it is hard. I don't want my butt to give me another crazy episode.

Sadly, it wasn't done with me yet. In fact, it was ready to put me in another embarrassing situation. I had to experience that yesterday.

I woke up early yesterday morning and saw that I had nothing to do around the house. I looked at my laptop and some of the books I checked out from the library, and saw my schedule for the day. I put on some clothes, packed a bag, took my bike out, and rode over to the library. The whole ride to the library felt very energetic. I was burning some calories while riding at eighty five degree weather, and going to a place where work can be finished. The only thing that didn't feel right was that I was wearing a long sleeve shirt while riding on my bike. The only reason I wore it was because it was the only thing in my closet that matched my pants.

Halfway to the library, something didn't feel right. My stomach was bubbling in the inside and the sun's rays were aiming towards my pants, increasing the temperature, and causing my butt to heat up in the process. Seven blocks away from reaching the library, I realized I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to go to a nearby restroom. I parked my bike and chained it up to a parking sign. I walked up five more blocks and entered the Ritz Carlton Hotel. The hotel has a public restroom on the first floor. So once I realized I needed to go and I know my city, the Ritz Carlton was the only place nearby.

I walked into the restroom and quickly locked myself in a bathroom stall. Once my butt was on the toilet the crazy bathroom session continued. Once again, I began to feel the heat building up because I was really pushing. I put my hands against the wall, closed my eyes, held my breath, and kept on pushing. It was worst that last night at home.

Then yesterday's episode got more embarrassing, yet interesting. I heard someone entering the restroom. So I held the fart back until the person left the room. My farts were loud like trumpets. So the next thing I didn't need was someone asking me about my health condition. Once the guy left, the farts continued. Seconds later, the toilet from the next stool flushed. Instantly, I knew someone was in there before I even came into the restroom. I grabbed a handful of toilet sheets and covered my face in shame. I didn't want anyone to hear me, but someone was hearing me from the very beginning.

The guy walked out and said "Be careful in there."

Minutes later, I was finally done with the session. I rose up and waited for the toilet to flush. The toilets in the hotel doesn't have a handle. You have to move away and it will automatically flush. So I looked down, and saw only one tiny spot of business. I went through thirty minutes of pain to eject one spot of human business. I hope that this will never happen to me again.

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