Friday, June 17, 2011

Your Kids Are Scared Of The Barber

Do you remember your first time going into the barbershop? I'm talking about when you were a little kid and your hair was everywhere. Your parents felt like you needed one. Then once you get there, you wanted to run for your life and stay away from what the barber was holding.

I will never forget that day. I remember my parents telling me that I was going somewhere and they were getting rid of something that they told me had to be removed. They didn't tell me that it was my hair that needed to be cut. They kept it a secret while on my way to the shop. While driving to the shop the car was silent as a ghost. No one was talking. The only thing you could hear and feel was the car driving past numerous speed bumps. Since I was a very small and the seat belts were broken, I was bouncing up and down the backseat like I was in a moving ball pit.

The car eventually stopped and we arrived at the barbershop. My stepfather put the car in drive, and both of them looked back at me with these weird look in their eyes.

"Look here Roque," said my mother. "We're at the barbershop."

"What's the barbershop?" I asked.

"It's a place where people go to get their haircuts," my stepfather spoke. "This is going to be your first day there. So don't cause any drama. We ain't got time for this."

He said it as if we just had an argument a few minutes ago. A part of me wanted to slap him in the face.

I know they say "You don't talk to your parents like that."

Well in that situation it should've been the other way around.

Since I heard that quote so many times a part of me wanted to say "You're not supposed to talk to your kid like that."

I may have been very young, but my vocabulary was beginning to outgrow me. It's amazing what happens when one of your first birthdays presents was a dictionary.

My mother then said "Trust me on this. When you walk out of that shop you're going to look like a completely different person."

That's where my mother went wrong. I didn't know about cartoons at that age. I was watching a lot of random stuff on TV. Horror movies were at the top of the list. So just think about it. A four year old who is obsessed with horror movies is being told "When you walk out of that shop you are going to look like a completely different person."

That's the kid's quote for "They are going to operate on you and never let you leave that shop."

Right after she said, I started trying to run for my life. I was running around the car like a road runner getting away from two coyotes. They managed to catch me every time. The barber even had a hard time. He tried to keep me down in the chair, but I wanted him to stay away from my hair. The process was very difficult. I was watching my hair flying off in front of my eyes. Once I saw that happening I felt like he was removing the hair in order to get me bald. That way, he can use that razor and finally open my scalp.

It was finally over, and even though it was clear that he wasn't going to operate on me, I still ran for my life. So consider this a lesson for all parents or relatives. If you are going to take your young one to the barbershop for the first time, expect the first year to be a crazy episode of your kids trying to run away from that razor.

1 comment:

earth22 said...

It's just like being at the dentist for the first time.