Monday, August 1, 2011

The Crazy Way I Discovered Condoms


One night when I was little kid, I was getting prepared for another week of elementary school. I really didn't want to go. I was still worn out from last week's tests. Here is my thing when it came to my 4th grade teacher. All of our classes are with her. So if it was hard for all of us to study one subject for one week, what in the world made you think that is would be easier for us to study three different subjects, thereby giving us three different tests in one day?

I still don't get it to this day.

While I was packing my bags, I noticed that the straps were broken. There was so much weight, the straps just broke off. I could no longer put it on my back. I originally thought my parents was hiding a new backpack from me. That's the one secret my parents didn't think I knew about them. If something important like a backpack was broken, there will be a replacement in one of our closets. It just depended on which one.

I searched my closet first. There was no new backpack in there. I went over to my parent's room and searched their closet next. I moved through a couple of shoe boxes (I still wonder how my stepfather handled my mom's spending habits when it came to shoes. She had so many shoes, they needed another closet), and saw this blue backpack way in the back. I felt like I found my replacement bag. Although I had to downsize on my school supplies for a few weeks, it was a perfect fit.

I took it over to my bedroom and started opening the bag in order to put my books in it. Once it was completely opened, I noticed these round things within the bag. I predicted there was at least twenty in them. It was something I have never seen before. To me, it was just a little bit unusual.

My first assumption was that it was candy. I was a candy fiend growing up. I have seen candy in so many different shapes and sizes, I thought it was just candy I have never seen before. Without opening it, I took one bite. Of course, it tasted awful. It tasted like plastic. However, even though I didn't like it didn't make me think that everyone else would despise it.

So I decided that night to take it to school the next day, and give it to the kids. I put the candy in a different pocket and went to sleep.

Monday finally came and my original plan didn't work. I completely forgot to do it. I was so tired, I just slept in class the whole time. I wanted to go back home and let my mind just wander around. I laid my head down on the desk and completely forgot about everything that I was going to do. So technically, it was good luck in disguise.

Fast forward seven years later, my parents and I tried to have a conversation about the birds and the bees. At that point in my life, I knew everything about sex by the time I was nine years old. Ever since I saw my first porn film at four years old, I began researching every detail when it came to sex. So I already knew about those things I was carrying with me back in elementary school was condoms.

"Roque, we need to talk about this," my stepfather began.

"About what?" I asked.

He pointed towards one of those condoms.

I pointed at them and said "You want to talk about sex?"

His eyes were wide open at that point.

"You mean to tell me you already know about sex."

"Yes."

He got out of his chair and headed to his bedroom.

"Then tell your mother about that. She got me all up in here nervous wanting me to talk to you about the birds and the bees. Why don't people just call it like it is? It's just sex."

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