I would like to take this opportunity to address something that's been on my head for quite a while. It's popped up a few times while I was sick, but it's popped up even way before any of this happened. I just been putting it in the back of my mind because I really thought it wasn't a big deal. Now I realize it is and I'm just gonna say it right now.
Some of my friends are wondering why I haven't been supporting them in their new ventures the way I used to back then. Back in the day, I was Mr. Supporter to the extreme. I was the total embodiment of that word. I would be promoting them on my Facebook account. I would go to every single event they were at. I would be getting phone calls at 4 o'clock in the morning from my friends telling me an idea they have and I would say "Go for it."
I was truly Mr. Supporter to the extreme. For me, that just proved how much I love my friends. I know they tell you that you can't please everyone. I sometimes go overboard and try my best to do that. We all deserve to succeed and do what we want to do in life. I wanted to make sure my friends achieved their goal.
Then one night, I began to self reflect after a one hour phone call with a few of my friends. One got a record deal and is recording his album in another country with his rock band. Another one has opened a restaurant and it became a huge success just that quick. Finally, another one became a successful photographer and is now working at a popular magazine in New York City. All of my friend's dreams were happening right in front of me.
And where was I? I was on the floor with an empty wallet and no flourishing career.
I spent 95% of my life supporting, helping, or just being there as a friend. I dedicated a lot of blood, sweat, and hard work on them, I totally forgot about my life. I was still at square one with only a few changes being made. My career wasn't going anywhere and that was painful to look at.
I made the decision a long time ago to be 95% focused on my own life. I need to put myself together. Create my life. Make it the way I want to be. That way, when I do go out to dinner with my friends, we can each talk about our success and we will never have to say "Alright, who's the broke person at this table that I'm paying for."
I will continue to support my friends, but not as much as I used to. I'm sorry, but I got a life to put together. I'm 20 everyone. It's time to kick this car in over drive.