Wednesday, July 18, 2012

The Realization Of A Never Gonna Happen Friendship


For everyone that knows me, whether you're a reader or a close friend of mine, you know I'm an affectionate person. It comes from being a free-spirit and an open minded person. I like to give hugs and pat you on the back from example. It's a natural thing for me.


In my defense, it's way for me to show you that my door is open to you. I'm not judgmental. I don't criticize. I don't do anything to make you think that I'm a bad person. I'm a positive, happy-go-lucky, most of the time quiet, person. But just because I'm too positive all the time doesn't mean I'm not open to compromise. I'm open-minded. So if some of my actions are a little out of control, and you want me to tone it down a little, I'm open to compromising. I want to respect you and the friendship that we have.


But of course, I'm starting to learn that not everyone wants to be your friend, even after you make several attempts to please this person.


Yesterday, I sat down to have a conversation with this male person that I've been sensing tension with. I expressed to him how I noticed that he got irritated every time I hugged him or patted him on the back. I understand that some people don't like being touched or that being hugged is not a normal thing for him. I was open to compromise. That's why I came and sat down next to him instead of waiting for him to explode one day.


During the conversation, he kept texting on his cell phone. He looked at me only four times. He gave me only two responses. It was like he already made up his mind about me and didn't want anything to do with me. 


The conversation ended with me hoping that we were on good terms and be good friends, and he said aggressively "Just don't touch me ever again."


I knew in that moment that a friendship wasn't going to materialize. We weren't on good terms. My attempts to pleasing him were just a waist of time. He already made up his mind about me and was waiting for me to shut my mouth. 


It's another chapter in me learning more about friendships. You can't be a people pleaser. Everyone isn't your friend. If they don't want to be your friend walk away. Life is something, ain't it?

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