Friday, November 15, 2013

I Wasn't Ready For College Until Now

It took four years after high school, but I'll be entering the halls of college on January 24 for the first time. That means once again, I will be part of what it's like growing up as a freshman. I've been told numerous times that it's different from high school. When you're in high school you don't want to admit to the world that you are a freshman. If you are, you might end up being a living Family Guy episode.

So now the question people are going to ask me is why. Why now at age 22 am I entering the halls of college? People around that age have already graduated with a Bachelor's Degree by now.

My only answer. I wasn't ready.

I can't get into full details. If I could, it would end up being a memoir I will have to publish in the future. I'd say that only because there are so many stories to tell that would lead up to me making the decision to go to college now instead of years ago.

All I can say is my personal life took over everything. It affected me during high school and I knew I would have to handle extra baggage if I went straight to college after high school. Back when I was still living in New Orleans, the first two colleges I ever applied for (in New York) rejected me. My family and I were ready to choke each other to death based on the amount of arguing and ferocious debates that we've had for years. Most of this applies to my mother's side of the family since I didn't know my father very much.

I was devastated by a failed relationship after finding out I was secretly part of a love triangle, which I disapproved of. The economy was a wreck thanks to our former president and I felt all of it in New Orleans. The icing on the cake was a period of depression that left me unfocused.

The inner rebel was unleashed during those four years and I just wild out. I started going to nightclubs until two in the morning, doing underage drinking, attending drag shows. I needed an escape from my terrible personal life.

When opportunity came and I moved to New York, it took a couple of people to put me back to reality, but I finally saw a chance to start thinking about college again. Once I did, there was no stopping me.

I know some people might disagree with me. They'll think that my personal life shouldn't be a reason to not be thinking about college. This is my answer.

There are some people who can't micromanage like that. If their personal life takes over 90% of their life, it's difficult to focus and stay on the right track. Plus, if they try to handle both things, they'll be crashing, burning, and become more depressed than ever before. That was my prediction on my life. If I tried to handle all these things at once at an early age, it would've led to long term battles like alcoholism or anger management issues.

Now that my whole life is together, I see nothing stopping me from taking on the halls of colleges, and advancing further to the next level of independence. I now know how to let people in my personal or professional life get in my way. I know how to not only take baggage,but how to burn it instantly or place it in the closet and deal with it later.

I wasn't ready for college then, but I am now. And I'm more than willing to share those future stories with everyone.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

So proud of you! I know you will do great!