Monday, September 28, 2015

The Poised Homeless Person

Homeless people continue to surprise me.

I walked into the Kennedy Fried Chicken & Wings, the fast food joint near my apartment. A man like me goes with his craving, and I was craving fried chicken for the night. Normally, I would cook on Mondays, but I wasn't in the mood for that night. I ordered my traditional meal at that restaurant; 3 piece chicken with fries and a soda. I hysterically sometimes ask the owner if he can put three breasts Inside the box instead of the others. I like a lot of meat and the chicken breast have the most meat.

As I'm waiting for my food to be ready, in comes a homeless woman who was seemingly big boned and looked like her legs were about to fall apart. she sat on the other side of the table I was sitting at. She sat there with her body poised etiquette, as if she just came from reading a Jane Austen novel outside.

Within seconds, I'm laughing on the inside. Did she really think she's going to get some money by posing in front of a nerd? I gave her $0.50 just so she can get away from me. Her form of begging was ridiculous. 

She walked away and wished me good luck on life. I just looked at it at the where does 30 seconds of my life that week.

Thursday, September 10, 2015

The Liquor Store Regular

You know you're officially a regular at your local liquor store when the owner says "Hi" to you before you even say it. That's because you've been going to the same spot for so long, your face has become memorable to their eyes. That would be the case for me at my local liquor store near my apartment. That would also be a sad case for people who don't have a good reputation there.

I walked over to the liquor store to order another bottle of vodka. I made it a habit of buying some of the cheap liquor bottle under $10. I think a lot of people have this misconception about cheap liquor. They assume that just because the liquor is cheap, the buzz isn't good. You will be surprised at what brands you can discover under $10 that can give you that same quick, long lasting buzz just as the same as Ciroc, Skyy, Grey Goose, to name a few.

I grabbed a bottle of Romanoff because I liked the name. I've been told by some of my friends who are "experienced functioning drinkers" that Romanoff is a particular cheap vodka brand that will give you a nice buzz when you use it to mix a cocktail with. I love cocktails. So I obviously couldn't turn it down.

I walked towards the cash register, and a woman stopped me in my place before I made to the cashier. She was a older black woman wearing a black t-shirt with black sweats. She wore sunglasses with her hair wrapped up in a ponytail.

She began talking to me, saying that she just wanted someone to talk to. Based on the way she was speaking, I expected that she was looking for money or something. I gave her a dollar, which she accepted, but it wasn't enough for her. Based on how the tone in her voice changed and the way she kept saying that she wanted me, my assumption was that she was about to cry at any minute. She should of heard this woman's voice. I was about seconds away from giving her a hug.

"Are you alright?" I asked her.

"No," she responded. "I just been having a hard day and I need someone to talk to. I don't want anything. I just want you."

She started to get a little creepy, especially when she asked me for ten dollars a few seconds later while also mentioning that my bottle of Romanoff looked like a giant penis. I felt I like I was about to be in a weird ghetto version of Fatal Attraction.

All of a sudden, I'm hearing the words "NOT YOU AGAIN!"

She turned around and said "I knew you were going to say something."

I turned around. It was the owner of the liquor store. A Chinese man in casual clothing. Based on my memory, he was always a nice guy. But in this moment, he was loud and angry like I've never seen him before. I always tell my friends that you have not lived until you seen the rath of a Chinese man.

"Get out of here," he shouted. "Don't mess with the flow of business."

He was hitting the cashier with a newspaper while screeching, causing it to echo across the room. The black woman kept retaliating by saying that she was a child of God, and that he couldn't touch her. The scene got so crazy, the other cashier lady called me over so she could cash me out. And that's what they did. I swiped my credit card, took my liquor bottle, and left the scene.

It was 7:00pm. All I wanted to do that night was cook dinner, turn on Spotify, brew a cocktail, and get drunk.

Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Roque's Reality Newsletter: Vol. 2 Issue #9

As I'm slowly stepping back into the world of blogging, I'm happy to delight my readers with the release of my new "Roque's Reality" newsletter. This newsletter contains quick, short pieces of information regarding what's going on in my community. It also contains some of my recent pieces published from my collaborations with other publications.

It's not much, but it's at least showing you guys how productive I've been this whole summer. Click on the link below and I hope you enjoy reading it.