Thursday, April 7, 2016

The Picky Blonde Pizza Customer

In all my years of living, I've never encountered a person who was so picky about a $1 piece of pizza until three days ago.

I stopped by Two Bros, the best one dollar pizza in the world to grab a snack. In my opinion, one plain slice of cheese pizza from that joint will have you satisfied throughout the day. For a college student like me who has a history of skipping breakfast and sometimes lunch, I count on this place to give me a good slice. I always get the big slice because my slim built body puts guilt on the pizza people into giving me the bigger slice.

It's the old saying "That man needs some meat on his bones."

I went to the Two Bros. on West 4th St. near the A train, which always serve good slices in my opinion. Standing in front of me in line was this tall blonde wearing sunglasses. She was talking to her best friend about some nonsense going on uptown regarding her friends, and her boyfriend. I blacked out that the conversation because I was hungry, and it sounded boring. She ordered a pepporoni and a plain cheese slice. The servers gave her the pizza, and she froze for a moment.

"Can you give me a different cheese slice?" she asked the server. I quickly froze along with everyone else. Never in my life did I hear someone wanted a $1 slice exchanged for a different one.

"It's the same as the rest of them," said the server.

"I know," she began, "but this one looks kind of weird. I don't know. It's something about the way the cheese is just liquid like, and moving around a little bit."

Her description of why she didn't want the pizza was so insane,  I had to roll my eyes a few times. I, myself, am a picky person, but I would never read a slice of pizza from head to toe. The guy behind me quickly jumped ahead and paid for that slice.

"What would you expect from a $1 dollar pizza?"

"There are many other slices," she excused.

I don't know what the eight people standing behind me in that shop were thinking, but I was certainly someone who was thinking this whole incident was ridiculous. The server gave her a different slice and she walked away.

"Everyone hates me right now," she giggled on her way.

Now that's what I call a picky blonde pizza customer.

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